Jay Z says it'll make me feel brand new

New York, that is.  The Mama, sister, and I are headed that way this weekend.  Ignore the composed use of periods, I'm very excited. (!!)

I'm trying to play it cool but the truth is I'm a bit worried.  See, I've developed this self-deception that I'm quite the fashionista here in the Midwest.  Charming, chic, and fierce are adjectives I readily use to describe myself.*  Fact of the matter is, I'm afraid those suave NY'ers are going to serve me up a dose of reality with a smack of fabulous shoes and haircuts square to the face.  The angst of it has me practically chewing my nails and rocking autistically.

So I decided I needed to demonstrate my class and convince you all (because, obviously, my 2 readers are in NY right now) of my stately style.  To do so I have composed this photo:

Ah, and I've succeeded at amusing myself again.  You're welcome for sharing this exemplary artwork with you.

One last thing, because Frank is the man:



*I hope you're comprehending the sarcasm here.

Thank you, Delta

I recently caught a flight from Indiana to NC. As I jammed my luggage into the overhead bin and meticulously folded my body into the seat, I quickly found this routine flight morphing into what could only be described as a Broadway musical.

The flight attendants perfectly fit the stereotypical friendly and fabulous flight attendant mold. There were three of them. All with crisp black uniforms, displaying tantalizing splashes of pink every now and then. And not just pink, but hot pink. There were two females, both tiny adorable black women. One had the perfect curls of a female afro, the type that women from every race quietly envy. The other sported the fastidiously styled beehive that only a half can of hairspray can supply. The third was male. A slender pale man with a tailored uniform to accentuate his metrosexual hipbones; his splash of pink taking the form of a starched button-down shirt beneath his black vest. Finely groomed facial hair topped by a dark head of hair with shine that every woman strives for, and a painstackingly placed side-part.

Aside from mere physical appearance, these attendants had the bubbly personality and lightness in their step that one expects to witness in a good flight attendant. They lithely flitted about the middle aisle during the pre-flight pep talk, until I was all but holding my breath in anticipation of the jazz band and choreographed dance.